“This one time…at an oracle card reading…”

My poor, unsuspecting boyfriend.

I just went OFF in my living room. Let me set the stage:

I had just finished attending a Women’s Circle my friend put on. I was not going to sign up for this meetup because, life, but for whatever reason I felt compelled to participate this evening. So, at 6:00 PM on an unsuspecting Monday, me and a handful of six others found ourselves staring blankly into a Zoom room as we awaited our Host. Once everyone got their audio squared away (oh, the joys…), my friend explained that she would be pulling some cards from her new Oracle Deck to help guide us in our time together.

Now, regardless of your opinion on the source or validity of “oracle decks,” can we all just agree that utilizing new tools to connect and explore the deeper aspects of ourselves (always in light and love) is a cool and interesting thing to do? Thank you.

Anyway, as she prepared to randomly pull the cards, she explained that each one will correlate to a specific question theme:

1. What gift does 2022 have for me?

2. How can I be more of my highest self this year?

3. What will my superpower be this year?

As she pulled a card for each corresponding question, she referred to the deck’s associated manual to read the description, traits, characteristics, messages, and promptings each card’s wisdom held. After going through all three, she gave us some time to journal about the experience.

Eventually, she summoned the group’s attention and invited us into a discussion where we could share how we connected to the cards, what we journaled about, or anything else the experience brought up.

Right away, we collectively acknowledged that the cards pulled felt special. My friend did warn us before we began that in trusting a loose, free-flowing experience such as this, whatever energy we (this group of strangers on a Zoom call) bring to the reading will impact the cards the Universe decides to dish up. Again…just go with it. It’s fun.

Unsurprisingly, all of us could very specifically connect to most aspects of the cards drawn. Though demographics, location, and spiritual backgrounds varied between us, there was a unifying phenomenon that occurred as we shared our writings, reflections, and stories. Synchronicities abound. It was a cool experience.

…But that’s actually not why I’m writing this right now.

I’m writing this because when it was my turn to share, I chose to simply read verbatim my 90 second brain dump of a journal response. It was cluttered and chaotic, and something I’d usually try to paraphrase instead of read, but I didn’t have the energy to try and explain or contextualize it. I only had enough in me to say it exactly as it was.

I read:

As abstract as it was, it made perfect sense to me because as I wrote it I could literally see it in my mind’s eye. This vision is not a stranger to me, though it changes its insight and context depending on my circumstance.

This time, as I described, I saw an open field representing all that is, and was, and is yet to come, and I was aware that I am the one responsible for not allowing myself to taste and see all that is good. I am the one who halts my forward progression on this path - this invitation to see and seek and play and be - I am the one that chooses to strive.

But, instead of that being a condemning feeling, I then saw myself as a child sitting in the middle of the path - almost in indignation - picking the petals off of a daisy stem (taking my sweet ass time) while the vision seemed to say “It’s okay. You can stay here. As long as you want. I still love you, and it’s never too late.”

A bit to my surprise, after I finished reading my entry, the women in the group met me with immediate words of affirmation and positive feedback. It did resonate with them - I think even beyond what I could comprehend or was expecting, especially because it was in such unpolished form! My friend then (bless her heart) made a joke and said “And that’s just her free-writing…” leaving me to feel reminded of the gift words are to and through me.

I needed to be reminded of that this particular night because:

1. I know I have a gift to not only write, but communicate, yet I rarely use it because I am too worried about being too much of this or not enough of that [insert a variety of this’ and thats depending on the day].

2. The Oracle Cards pulled deeply resonated with this almost unbearable feeling I’ve been having for the past couple of weeks that can be best described as having a violent current surging just beneath the exterior of my day-to-day existence growing in heat and volatility by the minute, like a volcano right before it’s ready to explode. Dramatically.

3. Sharing my journal entry with these women accidentally ignited some of that deep heat within me enough that when the call finished, I ran downstairs and found my boyfriend and began talking a million miles per minute at him about the experience of my vision and how writing and speaking make me feel and why I don’t allow myself to do it more and what would happen if I did and why I should and why I shouldn’t and on and on. And on.

In this monologue – yes, monologue, poor guy was just trying to play some Call of Duty – I ended up launching myself into a whole theoretical discussion about what happens when people don’t use their gifts and how our modern-day society sanitizes and desensitizes us from our divine purpose.

That’s actually what I want to talk about in this post.

*

to be continued…